gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
