This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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