Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize