the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
