Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
