she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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