Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
