Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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