I cockslap morals
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
