dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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