I can tuck mytits in my pants
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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