This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
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