oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
