I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize