ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
