how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
