I feel like abortions should bother me more
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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