capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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