Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
