OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
