the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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