matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My balls are so social today.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize