Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize