why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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