I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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