problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
