Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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