thus making me awesome and them whores
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
