Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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