I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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