how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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