I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize