mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
