Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Is it because I queefed?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You did what with his pubic hair?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
