He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
All the doctor said was why
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize