Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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