Pappa wants mamma naked
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
