Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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