i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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