stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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