So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
