Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
