I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
