you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
