but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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