If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
