I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
