Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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