You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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