I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
