Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
