YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
