Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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