Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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