listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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