Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Say something about gay babies.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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