the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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