feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
