She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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