Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
