Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
