bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
