Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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