I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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