Your tits are I can't wait for
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
