You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
