quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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