we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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