do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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