using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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