You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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