I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
