Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
