oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
