Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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