they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
