sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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