I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
