i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
