dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
